Redefining Modesty

 I think it is safe to say that our society’s dress code has definitely changed over the years.

And so has our personal view of what is appropriate and what is not as time changes the norm. Some lean toward the conservative side and others jump in and join the culture.

As a young Christian woman, I have been taught about dressing modestly my entire life, from my mother, older women in our church, and pastor’s wives. They always stress the importance of making sure that you don’t cause your any men in your life to stumble and to keep your body covered. They are sure to tell you what is and isn’t appropriate. That’s awesome. I am so glad that they instilled that in me as I grew up. But one thing they didn’t tell me. Modesty starts in the heart and flows out of it.

It’s easy to turn Christianity into a check-list, a rule book of ‘do this’ and ‘don’t do that’. But we can get so caught up in the actions of that, and it then becomes monotonous.

I love hearing about other results of doing the right thing. Such as, don’t have sex because:

•  You might get an STD. 
• You might become pregnant. 
• You will carry around baggage. 
• You won’t find as much fulfillment in your marriage. 

But what about this: DON’T HAVE SEX CAUSE GOD TOLD YOU NOT TO AND YOUR LOVE FOR HIM SHOULD CAUSE YOU NOT TO UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED. Hmmm, never thought of that one, eh?

Of course, not every article that is written is like that. Most of the articles I've read are though, and it is easy to start thinking like that. I should dress modestly because I want to save myself for my husband and not to cause my Christian brothers to be tempted to sin. BUT, most of all, I should dress modestly because that is what I have been told to do by the One who loves me most, by God.

So let’s talk about modesty and what it is. Modesty and humbleness are synonyms. Modesty, according to Dictionary.com, is said to be- the quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities. It’s the same in how you dress, deflecting attention from yourself.

A friend of mine was complaining to me about how someone she knows dresses. She seems to write her off for it, because she thinks she knows her heart. I’m sad that most people can’t be friends with someone because they have “big sin” in their lives. As humans, we all have sin in our lives, but if it is concealed and hidden well enough, it doesn't affect anyone or anything… that’s all a big, fat LIE! Your sin affects those around you whether it is obvious or hidden, so it’s not fair to write someone off because you think that you know their heart.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, it is wrong to dress immodestly. But to see someone who has not grown up being told how you should and shouldn't dress and then writing them off because you think “they are seeking attention” is mean and unfair.

I could (and have before) dressed in, what some would say is, perfectly modest clothing and still be immodest. If I was wearing something that I had planned to wear and thought to myself “I’m going to wear this so that others compliment me and think I have great style”, it’s immodest. When you think of it in this way, it’s easier to see the flaws of ‘is this appropriate or not’. And it can bring to light the immodesty of some men too.

Please. Please, please, please be careful about what you wear as a woman who is trying to guard herself and protect her brothers in Christ. But it all begins in your heart. And most importantly, be modest during worship.

Which is what Paul writes about in 1 Timothy 1:9&10- When they come to pray, likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.

Your goal on Sundays, and anytime you are going to corporate worship, should be not to distract anyone by your appearance and you should not be looking to stick out. But, you should want others to see your good works which is announcing the reverence of the Holy One through your actions.

Modesty is important in a world that lives free and wild. Like everything else in our Christian walk, it sets us apart. So maybe the next time you put an article of clothing and you stand in the mirror, maybe you should ask yourself- “is this going to draw or deflect attention to myself today?”