I don't know how other mothers handle nap time, but 3 year old twins plus nap time can often bring lots of tears. I'm actually writing this while they sleep (cross your fingers that they stay asleep longer than an hour), but some of the most frustrating and ugly parts of the day happen while trying to put two tired children down for a nap. Ever since I started trying to be consistent with nap time, I've often seen how it relates to a lot of things in life. Mostly it's shown me a glimpse of my life and surrender.
A tired little girl will want me to rub her legs until she falls asleep.
A tired little boy will do everything he can to convince himself and me that he isn't actually tired... While yawning and crying and rubbing his eyes and talking to himself to keep awake.
I remember nap time when I was little. I remember thinking I was so sneaky, pretending that I was asleep until mom left the room and then feeling so accomplished.
Maybe these kids not giving into sleep frustrates me most because I know that it is what is best for them, because I see how tired they are. It's also for my own sanity, because they will be more tolerable with sleep, and I do need a break of my own to recharge while they nap.
I can see the same thing happen when I don't surrender my life to God. He knows that's what's best for me and deep down I know it is too, but I fight so hard against it thinking my way is better and that I'll miss out on something if I listen and give in.
When I said many tears are shed during nap time, I didn't mean only for the twins. I've been brought to tears with frustration. The picture in my head of nap time going smoothly and having nothing to worry about while each child lays down and falls asleep within minutes because they are angels.. THAT picture is the furthest thing from true 98% of the time. Instead it's screaming and shouting, my patience being tried and wanting to yell all while knowing that will only add to the terribleness.
I often hear "you're not my friend, miss Hannah", or "I'm not your boy, I'm daddy's boy". I normally think, "that's fine, I'm not supposed to be your friend, you're just supposed to listen to me." I'm glad that's not exactly God's response. He is so much more gentle and patience while reminding me that being the creator of the universe and being God means He will always be right.
The funny thing about naps is that the twins don't want to wake up then... I feel that the same thing happens after we have given up our fight and surrendered. It's so much more freeing and we feel refreshed, but we can't get enough of it.
I don't know about you, but life is exhausting when I feel like I need to know what is going to happen every second of my life instead of trusting that when I'm trusting God with my life and plans that he will lead me where I'm supposed to be next at the right time.
And just like nap time comes around just about every day, surrender needs to be a daily act too. Because if not, I'm about to turn into a sleepy, crabby, exhausted person. Somedays I know I'm not surrendering, I'm impatient cause I want to be in charge. Like the days that the twins don't nap, those can be the worst days.
Matthew 6-
25 For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
26 look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barbs, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them! Are you not worth much more than they?
33 but seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Surrender to God.
Proverbs 16:20
He who gives attention to the word will find good, And blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.
So good :)
ReplyDelete