You know me

I'm sitting here eating eggs and bacon at 12:46. Did you need to know that? no. Did you care? probably not.

"You know every detail of my life. For You are God and You don't miss a thing"

This song- It's my go-to most days. I don't even know if I can count the amount of times I've listened to it. On bad days. On good days. It's a song I listen to when I just want background noise.

What's mind boggling to me is that a God as infinite and powerful as mine would love me as much as He does. He knows every.detail.of.my.life... How foolish of me to be discontent with my life when I have the God who made the universe loving me more that I can fathom! Why do I get so upset when others don't treat me like I'm important to them? I have all that I need. All the love I could ever want, but still my wandering heart chooses to tell me that's not enough.

You know when I rise or when I fall
When I come or go, you see it all
You hung the stars and you move the sea
and STILL you know me

God isn't too busy for me and He is in control of the whole universe! Sometimes I just sit here and cry. I cry because I'm overwhelmed by how unworthy I am of His love and yet He shows me His goodness over and over again without regret. I can't hide from His love. No matter if I think I deserve it or not. I cry because I'm not thankful enough for how much He cares about me. If I can't find satisfaction in His love, there is no where that I can find satisfaction.

Then through my tears, I laugh. What kind of crazy being could love me enough to know every detail about me?! My imperfections- no matter how ugly and loves me anyways. My wants and desires- and whether they match up with what is best for me. My joys- and the fact that He was the one who created them (aka people and food).

God is love. So what a joy it is to be able to love Him back. His love fulfills me. So from that, I can be filled with His love which strengthens me enough to love others even when they don't love me back.

Psalm 118:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; his lovingkindess is everlasting.

Psalm 116:1-5
I love the LORD, because He hears my voice and supplications.
Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.
The cords of death encompassed me and the terrors of Sheol came upon me;
I found distress and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the LORD:
"O LORD, I beseech You, save my life!"
Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; yes, our God is compassionate.


Thank you Lord, for this love that I in no way deserve.